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On Pursuing Art & Music

When was the last time you asked yourself the question, “what do want to do your whole life?” 

I know I haven’t done so. Not ever. Not even when I was deciding what I wanted to study way back when I was just a high school grad looking into University. I just thought I’d wing everything, like I did with midterms and finals. Yep, totally a bad move. 

I pushed through with mediocre grades and frustration from courses I know wouldn’t bring me far from where I intended to be. I thought I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t at par with my classmates.. but they were just signs. Signs that I kept resisting and ignoring, just so I could finish what I started.. and so, I realized far too late that I’m in the wrong program after all.

Hence, I’m a degree holder with very little aspiration to whatever I studied. 

Though I don’t regret it (hey, I still learned and gained a lot from it), there’s still a part of me that wished I took up something I really enjoyed. Something I would stay up for, no matter how late and tired I’d be. Psychology and Neuroscience is very interesting, I’ve learned a whole lot majoring in the two fields. But my passion for them isn’t as strong as what I’d have for the Arts and Music.

How so? I draw a whole lot and I like the idea of creating things and designing spaces. Even until now when I’ve pushed it aside because of courses unrelated to the arts and other activities, the urge for me to draw and create kept coming back. On the other hand, music has always been something I’ve dreamed of pursuing, either through music production or performing in a live band. I could play a bunch of instruments, sing and compose music, right off the bat with my keyboard and guitar. The passion is there, I just chose to repress it for something I thought would give me a better paycheque. 

Now, I’ve come to realize that when you choose your own happiness, everything else will follow. It’s not just the paycheque. It’s whether or not you enjoy and love what you’re doing that will push you to become the best you can be, in the field you’re good at.

So, let this be a lesson learned. Before deciding, ask yourself the same question up top and act accordingly. Everything else will follow. 

Now that I’ve thought of it myself, here’s my answer: I want to draw, create, design, and sing my whole life. I have yet to decide whether or not I’ll go back to college and take up Graphic Design / Music Production. What matters is the realization within myself that I’m better off in the Arts than in any other field.